threelayers | IC Inbox

[every time. every time Neo pulled that, Emerald's heart skipped a beat. but this time it felt different. this time felt like it short-circuited her brain and opened up something that had been begging to be let out for months. her arms tightened, and she listened, and she spoke, and the words were simple. easy, for once.]

Neo, you're already worthy. I love you. I love you with everything I have left of my heart and knowing you and being with you is helping me get back the pieces that I threw away.

I'm still an anxious wreck and that's not stopping anytime soon, but I'm not doing this alone and I'm not going to be afraid to let myself have this anymore. [this time, she had a little more conviction in the words. still lies to herself at least in part, but couched in so much truth that she could ignore them.]

I know I don't have any... big grand gestures or anything. Nothing like what I heard about the Bees and their whole destined, written in the stars relationship, but. [she smiled and took both of Neo's hands, then lifted one close to her lips and pressed a firm and loving kiss to the back of it. a tad romantic for her tastes, but she was having fun.] But I hope it's a good start. I hope you don't think I love you any less because I can't change the position of the stars for us.

[She was fighting back tears when she listened to her and her forehead rested against Emerald's the whole time right up to the kiss before she nodded and managed to get one hand up to wipe away a tear or two, right before she brought one of Emerald's to her lips as well. A swallow followed and she took a minute to close her eyes and breathe before opening them again.

Ok. Yes, she could do this. She did, however, have to lean back a very tiny bit so that she brought her thumb up to her lips and drew it down in a quick motion, pointing at herself. 'I'm patient' it said. She pointed at her and signed 'You're worth the wait.' Really, neither of them were great at flashy romantic gestures it seemed, mostly because it just wasn't how Neopolitan communicated. She could be one hell of a peacock about so many things, but the fact that she didn't need to be with Emerald to speak her mind was really important to her.

'I know this will take time. This isn't easy, for either of us.' She wanted to make sure and exude the kind of confidence that she felt, that she understood that they were both really out there, in territory that wasn't easy to navigate for people like them. And she was ... ok with it. Because she had someone she could trust.]

[and Emerald was okay with it, too. she smiled and found it pretty easy to hold back tears this time, even though she noticed that Neo had a couple in her eyes. maybe it was because she still wasn't finished? but. she was already feeling a lot better about everything than she had when she started.]

I know you're patient. I just don't want you to have to wait this long to hear from me again if I have all these things weighing on me. I'm sorry that you weren't the one I came to first for everything that's happening. I just... I don't think I know what it's like to be this close to someone who actually listens to me. Who actually cares about what's wrong with me and wants to do something to help me.

[she exhaled.] It means a lot to me and I don't want to let it go to waste. And you know it does stupid things to my heart when I get to hear your voice.

'Thank you.'

[She mouthed that one. no sounds needed. She wanted her to understand that she was grateful when she said that she felt bad about not coming to her first. Not like Neo expected every time, but she wanted her to know that she absolutely could come at any time.

She did giggle a little afterwards and nodded. Of course she knew the effect. It's why she kept it rare. You know, so it had more 'punch.' She made a little hand motion, letting her know she could keep going. Somehow, she imagined there was more to talk about, though this was already a lot.]

[ugh. Neo made her heart melt sometimes just by doing things that everyone else probably considered pretty normal. but that's what falling into a relationship as damaged goods would do, and the thing was that the longer this went on, the less damaged Emerald actually felt.]

So, um. Gods. I was worried because Blake and Yang had that whole big destiny thing tying them together that maybe it made our relationship somehow less good? Or something. But, I mean, I really don't think that's a problem anymore. I think I just... had it in the back of my head and I had to get it out, you know? [she definitely did sound relieved, and lying to Neo was never something she wanted to do so this was as close to the truth as she could reckon right now.]

Speaking of her, though... I don't know, this is stupid, but, like. It's okay that I'm friends with her, right? Like. It's okay with you that I'm... that I was spending all that time with her. Like you're not worried about it or anything, are you?

[She slid back a little. This one was a lot easier with a note pad. yes, she liked to practice, but... it could take years to master sign language. Getting it all right when she had more to say was work. So she shifted to give herself enough space to write and scribbled after Emerald was done.]

Oh man, you need to tell me about this destiny thing.
What romantic notions have they been spouting to you?
I like to think you and I are making our own destiny and finding our own shooting star, so I like ours a lot.

But I'm ok with you being friends with her.
I've been trying a little with Penny and Oscar at times, so that's fine.
You two have more in common than you'd think at first glance.

[They both had hot-headed streaks after all. That passionate side in them both.]

You think so? [a small smile. it's nice to hear that there's parts of her that also exist in the heroes. it made her feel more... complete. more like she belonged. with everyone here. but she didn't want to think about it too long because it, like everything else, just felt embarrassing in her own head.]

Well, if there's one thing I don't think I have in common with her, it's big grand stupid gestures. She was telling me about this bottle cap that she kept with her or something... from the first night they hung out together? And how after Blake came back from whatever she was doing in Menagerie, she found a bottle cap washed up on the shore from the same brand of soda. Real storybook stuff, you know? [she pauses and looks at Neo, and her hand touches the back of her girlfriend's again, because she can't keep her hands off her when she's feeling content like this.]

But you're right. We're just telling a different way to get to happily ever after.

[She wasn't saying no to the physical contact, not at all. Her hands ran along Emerald's forearm while her other hand was being touched, even as she listened. That was soooo sappy. Yeah, she got it. They found all those happy coincidences and saw in them signs that they were destined to be together. It was kind of cute, wasn't it?

But, in a way, she got it even if she wanted to snicker. However, it made her think of her own idea, after a fashion.

Well, in that case?
we're just going to make our own bottle caps.
Nothing wrong with making our happily ever after.

[she smirked at that.]

Yeah? Are we gonna find the tiniest little thing that we can say is some kind of destiny? Or maybe just something that only looks tiny? [her hand crept up to the back of Neo's neck like it had when they were still... well, courting. courting? probably.] Something like a heart pendant that you kept warm against your chest for weeks before I got up the nerve to steal it for myself? And then I promised I would do all I could to keep it safe and sound for the rest of my life?

[her hand drew back, but she was certain to brush her fingertips against Neo's neck as it moved.] Something like that? You think that could be a bottle cap for us?

'Fuck...'

[She mouthed the word, realizing that she'd been almost insanely obvious and romantic with that gesture right before the fingers were on her neck. Her whole body shivered and she grinned, eyes fluttering some even as she brought her forehead back in close and nodded very slightly. The truth was that they actually had at least one or two gestures like that which really were perfect for this.

She managed a snide little grin, pointing at one and then the other.]

'Romantic fools.'

[What? They could both be that too couldn't they?]

That's us.

[but she wouldn't have had it any other way, no matter how complicated everything was. no matter how much her own mind raged like a storm. she mouthed her response to that first part with just a hint of her actual voice behind it. "maybe later." she'd see how she was feeling, but she was already in a better space than she'd expected.]

Gods, I don't know what it is. Just getting all of this out and remembering that you actually want to listen to me makes me feel better. I just... I want you to be part of my life all the time. And I just gotta remember that. I just have to remember this... this whole conversation, I think. [she slid her hand down to Neo's thigh and just rested it there.]

I told you a lot of things I was worried about, and you reassured me, and we figured it out together. And nobody got mad at anyone, nobody... nobody lit their arm on fire or clenched their fist or looked at me like I did something wrong just by breathing towards them. [a pause as she listened to her heartbeat, and heard how it wasn't changing anymore. how it wasn't jumping into her throat. it felt nice.] And I think somewhere in the middle I told you I love you with my voice for the first time?

'It gets easier with time, I think.'

[As her hands moved down to rest at Emerald's waist, she could definitely feel that. The more times it got reinforced, the easier it was for Emerald, for both of them to remember the fact that the other really cared and wanted to listen to their problems. Her hand rested on the back of Emerald's and she sighed.

She nodded softly. Seriously. You couldn't find the humor in Cinder. She really was awful. A little nod and she smiled, other hand going up to her cheek and resting there. And finally she swallowed, leaning into the ear one more time and whisper.]

'I'm going to love you, in all the ways she never could. You're mine. I never want to let you go.'

[all the ways Cinder never could. then Neo certainly had her work cut out for her, but... Emerald was okay with that. Emerald was absolutely, completely, unquestionably okay with that. and her heartbeat quickened again but all it did was generate more warmth inside her chest. when she spoke, she was quiet, too, and she was feeling more romantic than she ever thought herself capable of before.]

I told you once, but I didn't do it right. Can I do it again? [and a small smile as her words weighed heavy with intent and she looked right into Neo's eyes.] I love you. And I'm not afraid of it anymore. It makes me so happy knowing that I get to come home to you every day. Just having you in my life makes me a better person... even if we're both the bad girls. [a small, embarrassed laugh.] I don't want to get too sappy here or anything, but I wanted to make sure you knew. That I love you, and that I'm done being scared.

[She smiled at her and the way that Neo grinned was broad enough to show that she was fighting tears again. It didn't matter if she did it right. The fact that Emerald was doing it at all meant the world to her. She could be patient getting what she wanted because she knew how much the other girl was on board with her. Nodding, she leaned her forehead against her and made the signs for 'I love you' again, nice, up close and personal while she sighed.

Honestly, she could be as sappy as she wanted, and in this position, if she wanted a kiss it would be easy to give.]

[no tears. no more crying unless it was happy, and Emerald had every intention of leaving them both happy at the end of this. her face moved in closer and her hand wiped at Neo's cheek before moving down to hold her wrist. and she brought her lips closer, close enough to kiss, and it didn't take nearly as much time for her to decide what to do there.]

[maybe it wasn't wildly appropriate or a great way to end (or pause) a conversation, but she'd earned it. her head came in and she pressed her lips to Neo's, then a beat... then pressed harder. they'd earned this, together.]

[They'd earned this, all right. And when she felt the lips coming in and pressing to hers, the ice cream just melted. She leaned into it, pressing right back and feeling her fingers first clench and then ease. Tongue rested against lips and free hand went to the small of Emerald's back while she took security from the physical contact. This was what she needed, to know both in words and physically how much she was loved. She was an intensely physical person after all, with how little she could communicate normally.

But now, she could let her lips do the talking again, and it made her happy, her eyes closed and just resting against the warmth of her lover.]

[this was a much more comfortable, more familiar situation to be in when it wasn't in the front seat of some hotwired car. she didn't have to worry about anyone walking in on her or seeing her, and she trusted Neo not to laugh at or judge her, and she just. she just wanted to make everything up to her. starting with this.]

[her tongue pushed out from between her lips and between Neo's, and her hands shifted down to her girlfriend's sides, finding the edge of her clothing almost too quickly and slipping her fingers underneath. she wouldn't move anything out of place yet but she wanted to get that top off and prove something to herself. to both of them. once Neo knew what was her intent was.]

[Neo blinked once when she felt Emerald's fingers teasing under the fabric and starting to work her top off. Part of her was a little surprised, but the rest of her was just enjoying the sensation. Letting her tongue lay against her lover's, she loosened her grip, just enough that when Em managed to unfasten what she needed, it would be all too easy to get it off of her. She was in no hurry, but she wasn't going to say no to the contact, not at all.]

[okay. moment of truth. she knew Neo trusted her and she had to trust herself, too, and as they kissed and Emerald's hands worked, she just... she tried not to focus on it. she tried not to focus on the sound of fabric moving or the way her weight shifted on the bed as she pulled off her girlfriend's top.]

[she wanted to say something, to pull away and break the kiss and explain herself—it was pretty weird, right? she was doing something weird, wasn't she? but maybe she didn't have to. her hands moved to Neo's shoulders and draped over them as she blindly reached for a bra clasp or anything else to remove, and in the meantime she knew she was putting herself into a very accessible position all her own.]

[she made a quiet noise from the back of her throat while the kissing continued, and though it wasn't a command or an order or anything like that, it definitely came off urging. like she wanted to give back to Neo after how patient her girlfriend had been with her, and the best way she could think of doing that was by finally giving her permission to, um. take Emerald's clothes off? gods she needed to kiss more and think less.]

[It took her a second, but very soon she was catching on. Neopolitan smiled into the kiss and turned her head in the other direction. While her bra was being pulled free, she went with her fingers to find the clasps of Emerald's top. As she heard and felt the fabric being freed, her fingers inched their way underneath, feeling the first bits of skin she hadn't been allowed to touch until now.

Gradually, she broke the kiss, only to pull her top off and bring her lips in to Emerald's throat. She was free to say whatever she wanted, while Neo's hands went up to run just underneath her breasts, cupping there, glorying in the soft warmth there as her passion mounted. Between kisses, she looked at her lover, right in the eye. A swallow, and it was apparent that she was silently asking permission, to see just how far she wanted to go tonight.]

[it had been too long. she'd made Neo wait too long for this and she was as tired of herself as she (probably incorrectly) assumed Neo was. but now was the time, and though this wasn't the first time for Emerald, this was the first time she felt... this comfortable about the whole thing. this was okay. this would always be okay. her body nearly shuddered under Neo's touch, and her eyes fluttered open to see Neo staring at her. asking questions without saying or signing or writing a single word.]

[and she swallowed, but she was done being afraid. and she nodded. she was ready. she was ready as long as Neo was, and she didn't know how it would play out from here or what would end up happening but she knew, with literally everything off her chest, that she could... that she could make up for it. that she could do what she wanted and what she knew Neo wanted, too.]

[her hands followed the curve of her girlfriend's sides upward and came to a rest on her chest in a show of stupid, idiotic boldness that instilled in Emerald an unspeakable host of emotions. her body immediately felt warm in almost an uncomfortable way, but she knew she would be able to handle this. she'd felt this before, too, years ago. her head tilted to one side to give Neo more room, and she closed her eyes again but came far from screwing them shut. it was easy to embarrass her sometimes, sure, but she knew she could feel her girlfriend up. and then. do a lot more than that.]

[In so many ways she was entirely fine with how long she'd had to wait. Every week, there'd been little signs, little connections that drew her closer. She'd had physical and emotional contact that she hadn't had in years, so... she'd been able to be pretty patient. But the moment that she felt her lover there, against her, her body yearned for more. Seeing the way that she reacted, the nod, she grinned brightly and passionately and leaned in to kiss her once, softly and with a little more force, right up until she felt the hands.

Oh that got a reaction. Her lips drew back and she gasped a little. Her back arched into the touch of her love. Her head hipped back, hair tosled in the process and she was pressing into the touch of those hands, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, the hardening of her nipples. Her eyes rolled back and she let out silent, panting breaths for a moment before finally looking forward and grinning.

Her fingers reached up to feel their way over Emerald's breasts, letting her palms cup over them while she swallowed and took advantage of the freedom she now had. Yeah, she had patience but it was clear at this point that if she was being offered it, she wanted it all.]

[the kiss kept her quiet for a moment, but once she could see the look on Neo's face, feel her skin underneath her hands, feel her own skin prickling up in goosebumps and feel the chill down her entire spine that meant she would never have to be touch-starved again, she knew that all the confidence she needed had been there all along. she just needed to trust Neo, and right now, there wasn't anything but trust between them.]

[she sighed with her eyes closed and the tail end of it had a bit more voice to it than it usually would've had. her hands moved slowly, practiced but unrefined motions, like reliving fantasies she'd had in her head where the person on the other side had changed time and time and time again. all right, Em. this time it's real. she bit her lip and closed her eyes, and her hands moved with more purpose as she began teaching herself the curves of Neo's body and let Neo learn hers in turn.]

[Whether or not she'd ever actually done this, she had fantasized about touching Emerald this way for a long time. Neo may have practiced on herself a little bit when Em hadn't been around in the hopes of knowing how at least her own body reacted. Now, she had such a wonderful canvas to play with. Her hands could move over and take advantage of the beauty that was for her. Her fingers dragged along the curves and the edges of her lover's body while her head whipped back and she grinned before moving to kiss at Emerald's throat, starting to gently push her down onto the bed.

This was finally happening, and from the way that she was breathing excitedly, she couldn't be happier.

[oh, she was. moving. oh, she was moving now. heh. but she wasn't going to resist, not in the slightest. in fact, her hands moved away from what she'd been so frightened to touch and gripped at Neo's shoulders to help pull her closer as her body began to sink backwards. her head tilted back, and her hair touched the surface of the bed before the rest of her, but within a blissful moment she was flat against the wonderfully soft bed. the rumble of her own voice reverberated through her throat and she just hoped that Neo could feel it through her lips. and as much as she wanted to keep this silent, as much as she knew that she'd already said enough, she couldn't stop herself. Neo's name bubbled out from between her lips, and then something more complete, something full.]

Take everything. I'm yours.

[romantic, possibly. definitely something she'd already said with her eyes, her body language. but she needed the certainty—needed to hear herself say it. and her hands trailed down Neo's sides again, fingers brushing against bare skin and curling around to the small of her back. at some point, right around Neo's waist if she had to guess, Emerald switched from tracing patterns to rubbing and touching and squeezing. anything to get her hands on her girlfriend and never have to let go of her.]

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CW: in case anyone's watching, we getting pretty PG-13/R in here!

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