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[threelayers]

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*BEEEP*

It seems that Neopolitan still isn't managing to master the fine art of caring to be properly sociable. Still, the inbox does work, and she's known to respond fast enough, if she likes someone. So, at least there's that?

(OOC Note: 99% of all replies will come in the form of Text Messages unless Neo has a strong reason to send video messages. She might send pictures, but she prefers text.)

Comments

[threelayers]

[she shook her head and reached for both of her friend's hands, trying to press them together, to keep them in her lap and staring at her very closely. This was going to be a minefield for a while, she was certain of it. But she didn't want Chizuru walking out of this thinking that about herself. That felt important to her right now.]

You didn't screw up. She's got issues is all.
I think maybe you need some rest if you two have broken up, just to let your heart heal.
But you didn't do anything wrong, and you should be able to date.

And one day, maybe she can do it too.
But what she's got going on is something she needs to work on, not you.
You need to be ok for yourself.

You're not a screw up, Chizuru.
Sometimes, things are more than we can handle and too much to ask.

[tealeafs]

[ There's so much niceness here. It's strange.

Not because Chizuru doesn't expect the other girl to be nice, it's just.. it's difficult when you're being so hard on yourself for something, and then a friend comes along who treats you so gently about it instead. Telling you that you haven't done anything wrong, even though you feel like you have. Holding your hands like that. Reassuring you.

Chizuru bites her lip, trying to glance over at Neopolitan, but feeling a little too overwhelmed and instead looking down at the hands in her lap. ]

Why are you being so nice to me about this..?

[ Granted, it should be obvious why.

But with the way Chizuru views the situation, putting so much blame on her own shoulders, it feels so hard to imagine anyone treating her this kindly and understanding after what happened. ]

[threelayers]

[Fuck.

It was written all over her face that she was suddenly very uncomfortable. On the one hand? She was trying to be helpful because she considered Chizuru to be one of her only close friends in Trench. She had only a few people that she was legitimately close to who weren't from home, so she was protective. Chizuru was an easy person to feel very protective of, and she didn't think she'd done anything wrong. On the other, there were other reasons that were probably making her biased.

She didn't want Chizuru to not believe her, or to get upset because of those reasons. But lying to her felt very wrong. She fidgeted and her hands went back to her omni as she didn't meet her friend's gaze for a second, thinking for a long moment about it before finally replying.]

A few reasons. One? I don't dislike Jinx. I actually do like her.
But she's not entirely safe, and I know that, and I'm used to being around dangerous people.

Two, I'm probably pretty biased, Chizuru, because I care about you.
I don't want you to get hurt, and you got hurt.

[She kind of hoped that would be enough for her friend. Now did not feel like a time to say anymore than that. In fact, she really really didn't want to say more than that right about then.]

[tealeafs]

[ Chizuru seems to try and take in the words for a moment, but then she's moving. She mostly scoots a little closer to the other, and then her body leans forward until she's basically leaning against the other girl, Chizuru's forehead leaning against Neopolitan's shoulder. ]

.. thank you..

[ She doesn't deserve it.

Even now, Chizuru can't help but still think that, more than anything else. She doesn't deserve all this care, but-- if she's getting it, then thanking the other for it is the absolute least she can do. ]

I-- I'll be fine. [ Her default phrase to fall back on, yes, but.. She does mean it, partially.

Or maybe it's just a wish. ]

I, um.. I just need to figure out how to stop feeling like this.. Since it makes it hard to do much else..

[threelayers]

You will.
Time, you just need time to figure it out.
I'm here for you.

[Which... was the only thing she typed for a minute. she set the omni to the side and reached an arm around to curl around her friend and draw her in. It was pretty obvious that Chizuru needed physical contact. Neo let her illusions go, the little scars more visible, along with the tiredness in her eyes. With it out of the way, she held onto her friend and let her just take whatever hug she was going to need.

Honestly? She wasn't sure how long it would take. they hadn't dated long, but Chizuru also hadn't really done anything like this ever, so maybe it'd take a bit longer.]

[tealeafs]

[ The girl leans into the physical contact without hesitation. Sure, it may have been rare for her to get hugs back home, but she's sure grown used to it in this place - where the people are so kind, and where she has actual friends who actually call themselves her friends.

And she knows that when a friend hugs you, it's okay. It's comfort.

It's something Chizuru can lean into for now, turning her head so it's pressed against Neopolitan, and starting to cry against the other girl. It's okay to let go if Neo is doing the same, even dropping her usual appearance for the one Chizuru saw before, way back in the Sleeper farm.

It's not a loud kind of crying though. Instead it's more like silent sobs, tears invisible while Chizuru is hiding her face against the other girl. But the way her shoulders move up and down with each hitch of her breath is enough of a clue as to the fact that Chizuru really is crying. That she's trying to let out the hurt, even though it'll probably continue to fester in her heart for quite a while longer.

She wants to say more, but she waits for a bit longer, knowing that it isn't easy for Neo to hug her and talk at the same time.

So it's only after a few long moments - maybe even a few minutes - that Chizuru finally moves back, a hand wiping at her eyes as she says: ]

I'm sorry.. I-- I'll try my best to feel better again soon. I don't want to feel bad either if it might be a bother to others..

[ And when it still kind of feels like she's the culprit here, despite everything Neo said. It's hard to cut herself enough slack to allow herself to cry without feeling guilty about it. ]

[threelayers]

[She just let her cry for the moment, awkwardly holding onto her for the time being, letting her start to get some of it out. She knew that she was almost certainly blaming herself partially for this, and Neo wouldn't have said anything of the sort. But, Chizuru just was too hard on herself no matter what the situation was. It might take a long time to get out of this. She wondered just how bad this bridge had gotten burned, and resolved not to get on Jinx's case.

It'd only make things worse.

When she'd finally gotten enough out to talk, Neo listened, reaching up a thumb to brush one of the tears off of her cheek and sighing. Ok, no. That? She'd talk about.]

You're not a bother, Chizuru.
Please don't worry about it, and you'll feel better when you do.
You're going to be ok.

[tealeafs]

.. I'm going to be okay..

[ She repeats the words, even if she doesn't sound all that convinced of them. But maybe that's exactly why she's making sure to say them herself in the first place, rather than just leaving them to Neopolitan.

She wants to be okay. Because it sucks to feel this bad, sure, but.. mostly for everyone else's sake. She feels like she's no good when she's like this.

Chizuru sniffs, allowing Neo to wipe away that tear. Sure, she may be a touch shy about physical contact, but not with close and trusted friends - and Neo sure is one of those. ]

Do you.. um.. [ She starts a question, then stops and frowns, like she's rethinking whether or not to ask this in the first place. Though Chizuru does manage to press on after a moment. ] If you don't mind, I mean..

[ Of course Chizuru has to add that sort of disclaimer. ]

Do you want to do something fun together..?

[ Even if it's just something simple.

Just something that helps Chizuru trying to get her mind off everything for a few moments. There's nothing that makes her feel better as much as her friends, after all. ]

[threelayers]

[Neo just kind of watched her for a moment, and when Chizuru fidgeted that one out at the end, she laughed very softly, no actual sound coming from her throat as she couldn't help the smile. Leaning her forehead against her friend's for a moment, she just closed her eyes and thought about it. Yeah, she wanted Chizuru to smile again, which meant going out to do something no question.]

Yeah, let's get out of here.
We can hit Sapphora up, if you want to spend some time with the girls.
Or I know a place that does mud baths we can go to.

Gonna pamper you tonight.
Gives me an excuse to get pampered too.

[tealeafs]

[ There's a faint blush on Chizuru's cheeks when the other mentions pampering - despite the fact that the rest of her expression is still kind of sad. She doubts she really deserves pampering right now, still unable to fully shake off the sense of guilt, but.. It's not like she can just say no to such a kind offer from her friend, right?

So rather than rejecting it, she nods. A faint nod, but a nod all the same.

It's okay if it means that Neo is going to pamper herself too, she thinks. It's for the other girl's sake too. ]

Sure, we can do that.. Though I've-- um, I've never heard of a mud bath before..

[ Let alone had one. But of course Chizuru is going to trust the other when Neo says that it's something good. ]

[threelayers]

[See, that was the secret about pampering. Nobody deserved pampering. It was totally selfish, and she was absolutely going to be a tiny bit selfish here. Getting up, she offered her hand to help her friend rise and grinned at her.]

Oh, this is going to be fun.
You'd never believe getting a bath of mud would make you feel clean?
But it's amazing for that.

[tealeafs]

[ She does take the other's hand without hesitation, at the very least. Even when Chizuru is feeling at her lowest, she still trusts her friends - and especially Neopolitan, who has shared so much with her already at this point. ]

If you say so. [ Then I'll believe it, is the implication here. Chizuru would love to show the other a smile alongside it, but..

.. well, that's hard right now, for obvious reasons. But she does try to look a little bit less like a kicked puppy, at least, after breathing in and out. ]

I'll do my best to enjoy it too then.

[threelayers]

[She reached one hand over while the two of them were walking, her finger 'booping' her friend's nose while she offered her a reassuring smile, trying to be as infectious as possible. She knew it would be hard, but she hoped that being positive for the two of them would rub off a little.]

Don't you worry.
You don't need to try too hard for this.
That's the joy of having fun.

You just have it.